Friday night started off as a wild and crazy night. Well, not really. I decided I shouldn’t put off giving the dogs a bath any longer. Since my husband was out riding his bike I braced this task all by myself. Our 13 year old golden lab, Koda, loves water. She has given me a couple panic attacks before on how much she loves the water. She is in her element when she’s swimming. I truly miss having a pool just to see her swim. Our 8 year old is the complete opposite. Has anyone else known a golden retriever to dislike the water? He can’t stand it. I decided to make it a little easier on myself and start off with Koda. She headed into the bathroom all by herself and headed straight to the tub. I did have to help her in. Her old body wouldn’t let her climb the edge. She was a good big girl. Proud mommy moment right there. I helped her out and then headed for Conan. He knew what was going to happen. He didn’t fight me, he just wasn’t going to help me. I had to pick him up and toss him over my shoulder and carry him into the bathroom and set him into the tub. He did good for the most part. He was more than happy to jump out when I told him he was all done.
We headed for the back yard to air dry as much as possible. It was a nice Friday evening to be out enjoying the fresh air. I could hear the neighbor kid playing on the side of the house with the boys from across the street. I let the dogs back in and this is when it started to get a little crazy. The boys were using the side of our house to bounce their ball off of. It wouldn’t be so bad if our dogs didn’t freak out every time they heard a noise. Conan goes into guard dog action and barks. After the second time it got really old. He was so worked up and I felt bad for him. I knew the only thing I could do was to go outside and ask the boys to stop using our house to bounce their ball off of.
I headed out the front door and asked them politely if they could stop. They apologized and asked if the white dog could come out. I explained that they just got done getting a bath and Koda was taking a nap. They weren’t having any of it. They kept asking for the white dog. I opened the door and got Koda. She was a good girl and let them pat her. They made sure I knew they didn’t like the other dog. They kept on saying he bites. I had to explain that he barks as his way of communicating and letting us know someone is either in our yard or he hears something new. It didn’t help the ages of the boys were 8, 7, 5, and 2. They had their minds made up the white dog was the good dog and the other one wasn’t.
The questions kept coming and I tried my best to answer each one of their questions. Then the hardest question to answer came up. Where’s your son? I don’t have a son, I JUST have dogs. Gosh, after I said it out loud I had to remind myself I don’t JUST have dogs. They are my kids. Of course, that lead into, how come you don’t have kids? My short response, because I have dogs. Thankfully, this is when Jake came home and the focused was switched off of me.
I never imagined that I would have kids asking if my dog could come out. I always pictured my life being a mom to a son or daughter and having their friends ring the door bell asking if they could come out and play. Growing up I lived on a great street and that is exactly what we did. We rang each others door bells to see if they could come out and play. How did my life end up like this?
This got me thinking. Is there ever the right time to talk to your kids that some adults don’t have kids? I know it is hard for some adults to understand how this can happen. Or even worse they totally ignore the situation. Believe me, ignoring it isn’t going to make it any better. Should this talk happen when the birds and the bees subject is addressed? Or do we not touch on the subject and hope they will never have to know about infertility?
Think about it, we would be in “trouble” if we commented on someone’s weight and made them feel bad. Is this any different? Was my feelings hurt? Yes, of course they were. I had to explain to someone why I didn’t have a son. It was uncomfortable and awkward. It didn’t keep me down for a long period of time however, it did make me realize infertility is not talked about. The support is not there from others who have not traveled down the same road.
As I continue to share little glimpses into my life it is my hope that I bring awareness on infertility and miscarriages. National Infertility Awareness Week is April 23-29. Please take a minute or two out of your day and learn how 1 in 8 couples struggle to build a family. All these couple are human. I am a normal human being. I often have to remind myself this. I unfortunately couldn’t carry my child to full term. This doesn’t make me any less of a human.
Have you heard of Mama Said Tees? If you haven’t you have been missing out. I love their message. Most importantly, I love sharing their message. We honestly need more people out in this world like them. I challenge you to head over to their site and print off a human printable. Here’s mine. I love supporting strong women who continue to spread kindness. Most importantly, its for a good cause. I can’t wait to see you rocking your human sign. Don’t forget to use the hashtag #MSTHUMAN