Incase you weren’t aware I’m doing my job in making you aware, it’s National Infertility Awareness Week. Did you know 1 in 8 couples struggle to build a family in America. That’s 15% of the couples in America and I somehow got so lucky to be apart of this group. Don’t get me wrong, I like being in groups however, I like being able to pick which group I belong to. This is one group I would have never picked to belong to. Since I am apart of it I’m going to do my best to continue to bring awareness of infertility.
I wish I was able to tell you exactly why my husband and I are apart of this group. That’s the thing, infertility doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care about your religion, race, sexuality, and economic status. It doesn’t care what your hopes and dreams are or shall I say were. It doesn’t care how healthy you are and all the community activities you volunteered for. It’s down right mean.
The More You Know was my first blog post speaking about infertility. This journey has definitely opened my eyes up to many different areas of my life. I no longer take my health for granted. I wish I would have thought about this when I was 16 having knee surgery. Oh well. Embracing Plan B was a hard blog post to write. Here I am again, writing another blog post that is close to my heart.
Living in a fertile world is hard and sometimes challenging. Social media is great to share what is going on in your day to day life. You can share pictures of your friends and family. Share exciting news quickly instead of sending a mass email or better yet calling everyone. This is also when you find out your friend is expecting another child or their son just turned 1. I love looking at all the happy pictures. I may not like or leave a comment on every picture but I do like seeing that my friends and family are happy. This is also a reminder of what I don’t have. I don’t have the traditional family picture. I don’t celebrate holiday’s the same as those with children. I wish I was able to share family pictures like everyone else however, it may never happen. This is when it gets a little complicated. This is when the pain and anger starts to creep back in and take over. Of course people who struggle with infertility are jealous of those who have something they have always wanted and may never had.
When I think about infertility I think about how I may never have children of my own or even further grandchildren. I think about being alone if my husband passes before I do. This scares me. This brings tears to my eyes. When you are fertile you have someone always around you. You have somewhat of a security blanket. I on the other hand don’t. Yes, I have dogs. Their life expectancy is not a long one. I don’t even want to think about how my life will crumble when either one of them passes away. I realize it will happen however, it will be painful. When this does, please don’t say you are sorry that I lost my pet. My dogs are more than a pet to my husband and I.
Often times when infertility is brought up adoption is right around the corner. I am sure it is a great option for some people. It is not an option for all. If you have followed my journey you will know that our track record for staying in the same state is short. It’s one thing to go through doctor visits its another thing to open your life up and stay in one spot in hopes you will be lucky enough to adopt a child. Don’t forget the expense. If you go through an agency you are looking around $30k-50K. Incase you are still wondering, adoption is not in the picture for us.
The infertility journey is a long and bumpy road. Everyone’s journey is unique and painful. Please never compare one journey to another. Please don’t think someone has it easier because they have a child already. Truth is, they had a different vision on how their life would be. Their pain is real. Be a friend and comfort and be there if needed.
In #Blessed I opened up about how people who struggle with infertility struggle when they see certain hash tags. I challenge you for the remainder of the week to think about what you share on social media. Help me shine a little light on the 1 in every 8. Help me continue to spread that we are not less of a person just because we don’t have a child of our own. I am no less of a woman than the person next door.
To the other men and women in this select group, you are an amazing strong group of individuals. Use this platform to educate others. If we don’t, who will?